Final Fantasy VII: The Way it Should be
by Wight Mamba
Summary: The story of FFVII, just with a lot of extra things tossed in. Extreme OOCness, lots of bad language, and maybe some sexual references later on.
1. Chapter 1

Final Fantasy VII, or at least it should be…

Final Fantasy VII, or at least it should be…

**Yet another Vieraheart15/Wight Mamba delightfully mad story**

**The story of FFVII, just with some things changed (actually, most things changed)**

**Final Fantasy VII is owned by Square Enix. **

**The characters:**

Name: Cloud Strife

Gender: Male

Race: Human (Or is he?)

Likes: Idiocy, Tifa

Dislikes: Sephiroth (Or does he?)

Other: Annoys the hell out of Tifa, talks too much, sabotages stuff accidentally.

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Name: Tifa Lockhart

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Likes: Hitting things until they break.

Dislikes: Cloud, A-1 steak sauce, things that don't break when hit first hundred times.

Other: Bitches at Cloud because he's stupid. Takes Cid's steak sauce, initiating disaster.

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Name: Barret Wallace

Gender: Male

Race: Human

Likes: Impersonating Mr. T

Dislikes: Shinra, the fools (even though he pities them)

Other: Has really bitching gun arm

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Name: Aeris (or is it Aerith?) Gainsborough

Gender: Female

Race: Cetra

Likes: Flowers

Dislikes: Jerks who stomp her flowers

Other: Thinks she's the only one who can arrange flowers because she's the last Cetra.

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Name: Cid Highwind

Gender: Male

Race: Human

Likes: A-1 Steak sauce,

Dislikes: When anyone (especially Tifa) takes his steak sauce

Other: Wants to prove that A-1 is the perfect food for astronauts by eating it in space.

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Name: Yuffie Kisaragi

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Likes: Sleeping with everyone, Materia

Dislikes: People who resist, people who don't willingly surrender their materia.

Other: Wants to create the perfect ninja by mating with Naruto

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Name: Nanaki aka Red XIII

Gender: Male

Race: Cat/Dog thing

Likes: Making sarcastic comments, licking himself, howling at moon

Dislikes: People who ask him what the hell he is.

Other: Can't wait until the humans he travels with are dead, so he'll be free of their idiocy. Probably going to marry a couerl.

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Name: Cait Sith/Reeve

Gender: None/male

Race: Stuffed Cat/human

Likes: Spying, fortuning telling, controlling other stuffed animals

Dislikes: When he accidentally uses Joker Death.

Other: See's everyone except himself with the cat head of Cait Sith, doesn't listen to what people say.

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Name: Vincent Valentine

Gender: Male

Race: Vampirish-demon-guy

Likes: Lucrecia

Dislikes: Sephiroth, Hojo.

Other: Turns into demons when he feels like it, which is very often.


	2. Chapter 2

Final Fantasy VII, or it least it should be…

Final Fantasy VII, or it least it should be…

Chapter 1: The story begins

Welcome to the metropolis of Midgar, yes that's right Midgar and if you have read a brochure you'll know that this town is rich in history, culture, and Mako energy, yes indeed Mako energy the life sucking source of materia, yes materia which are no more bigger than a fucking marble, and blah blah blah!(and yes the brochure says that)

All is peaceful in the "nice" town of Midgar or at least it was…

Scrrreeeeecccchhhhh

"Hey that train wasn't supposed to stop here!" Said the first guard

"Yes it does, this is the 9:47 and 41 seconds train right on time!" Said the second guard

"Die fools!!" Said Barrett

BLALALALALLMMMM

"I pity the fools that get in my way!" Said Barrett as he got of the train

"We'll check out ahead" Said Jessie.

"I'll check the bodies for candy!" Shouted Cloud

"Are you sure he was the only one you could find?" Biggs asked.

"No candy, just a pot-e-on. What the hell is a pot-e-on?"

"That's a potion, fool!" Barret yelled.

The group entered the Number One reactor and strategized. Cloud kept nodding like he knew what the fuck they were doing, when he really didn't and was imagining Tifa Lockhart with her clothes off.

"So we're clear? Blow the reactor and RUN LIKE HELL!" Jessie exclaimed.

Cloud, Barret, and Jessie went deeper into the reactor. Jessie stood guard.

"Lookit Barret! I found one of those shiny marble things, you know, magicite!" Cloud said.

"Fool! That's no magicite! That's materia!"

ZAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP!

"Cool! Lightning Materia!" Cloud exclaimed happily, totally blackened.

"Okay, set the bomb up ahead, but it might be guarded. You know these things are never as easy as they look." Jessie explained. Cloud just followed Barret, still thinking of stupid things, like Tifa chasing him with certain weapons. He couldn't remember much about his life, probably because Tifa had punched him in the head so many times.

"Set the bomb here, fool!" Barret told Cloud. Once that was done a really huge scorpion came from nowhere.

"I'll cast Lightning!" Cloud cried in delight. Barret started blasting the scorpion while Cloud shocked himself with lightning. Then the third time he cast the spell it worked and the metal scorpion short-circuited.

"Let's get outta here! This place gonna blow sky high!" Barret yelled. The two ran. Cloud went and picked up Jessie from her spot and started carrying her out. Was she totally incompetent? She had gotten her leg caught while guarding! Cloud just thought of other things the few times he had been charged with guarding things.

And thus, the Number One reactor blew up, right as Cloud and Avalanche escaped.


End file.
